Supportive texts give partners a boost

An hour before an important exam, a college student’s mood is tense when their phone buzzes with a new text. “I’m so proud of everything you’ve worked for. Good luck today babe <3,” reads the message from their significant other.

Receiving such simple, supportive texts from a romantic partner can help people cope with stressful events in their daily lives, new Cornell psychology research finds. Undergraduate study participants felt significantly more positive and less negative about their upcoming exams after partners texted encouragement—however brief or affectionate—compared to when they received no message, or a less personal one from the researchers.

The findings are among the first outside a controlled lab setting to show that reminders about a close partner can help regulate emotions.

“The extent to which just the idea of your partner can confer benefits is hugely important,” said Vivian Zayas ’94, professor in the Department of Psychology, in the College of Arts and Sciences, and director of the Person and Context (PAC) Lab. “Most of our time is not spent with our partners. But just knowing the person is there, even when they’re not physically present, can produce benefits and have these ripple effects in our lives.”

Zayas is the first author of “Out of Sight but In Mind: Experimentally Activating Partner Representations in Daily Life Buffers Against Common Stressors,” published recently in Emotion. Co-authors are Betül Urganci, Ph.D. ’22, assistant professor of psychology at Koç University in Turkey, and Steve Strycharz, Ph.D. ’19.

Research has shown that contact with close partners can ease physical or emotional responses to stress. Holding a spouse’s hand, for example, made upsetting memories less potent, and was linked to lower heart rates and blood pressure among people asked to speak publicly impromptu. In lab experiments, symbolic reminders of a partner—seeing their name or photo—sped recovery from difficult memories and made pain from a mild electric shock more tolerable.

Behavior observed in labs, however, may not be reproduced “in the wild,” the researchers said. They weren’t sure a simple text would penetrate the noise of daily life.

To test that theory, the researchers conducted two studies involving roughly 170 college students in semester-long intervals. Participants were in romantic relationships lasting at least three months and enrolled in at least three classes that require multiple exams. The researchers collected text messages in advance from the participants’ partners that were sent an hour before certain exams, randomly selected.

A first study with about 40 students provided initial evidence that the students got an emotional boost from supportive texts, compared to those who didn’t receive them. The larger second study asked students more specifically how they felt about their upcoming exam, to ensure any mood boost wasn’t limited to the novelty of receiving a text. It also investigated whether a “good luck” message from someone other than their partner—the research team, in this case—would have similar effects.

The results showed partner texts—but not the PAC lab’s—significantly enhanced students’ positive feelings, and reduced negative feelings, about the exams, even though the exams remained stressful. It made sense for “subjective” stress to hold steady, the authors said, because even if the students’ mood improved, stress could help them focus and perform on the challenging tests.

Interestingly, the researchers said, analysis showed the benefits from partners’ texts didn’t depend on their quality—how long they were, or whether they used more affectionate or confidence-building language, pet names or emojis.

“Just receiving a supportive text message from their partner, regardless of the extent of it, impacted their mood,” Urganci said.

The researchers speculate that the texts need not come from a romantic partner to help buffer stressful situations, but would involve a trusted confidante, someone we turn to for emotional support. Depending on someone’s age and circumstances, that might be a best friend or parent.

“It’s almost like, ‘I’m thinking of you,'” Zayas said of the messages. “Short and sweet can have these benefits.”